Urgh. Not looking forward to writing this post. But here goes, it’s a recap of the two weeks or so since my last post.
Last week I experimented with calorie counting. If you read the posts, you’ll know I was initially skeptical but then got sucked in. As the week went by, I started feeling really good about it–I was coming in under my calories, I was making good choices in some tempting situations, and I was getting back into a groove in the gym. I wasn’t perfect, but by my estimation, I only went over calories on Sunday. Sunday was an exciting day because my football team, the Indianapolis Colts, made it to the Super Bowl! Usually watching a game like this would be an occasion for pizza, wings, and beer, but I would not be deterred from my plan to lose two pounds that week, so instead I had kale chips, roasted chickpeas, a bowl of homemade chili, and beer. Yes, too many calories, but I was so proud of myself for not ordering greasy takeout and for trying to get some real nutrition.
Monday morning I hopped out of bed eager to check the scale. I was thinking, since I had lost two pounds the previous week with minimal exercise due to sickness, I could hope to lose two pounds this week, and if I continued to turn it on, I could do that one more week and be back at my lowest weight from last year. From there, as long as I continued to lose at any rate I’d be thrilled.
I gained three pounds.
I was pissed off, but also hopeful that I’d get on the scale Tuesday and it would drop back down, the result of a bit of beer bloat. I ate well on Monday and weighed in Tuesday morning. It had gone down two pounds, leaving me still at a gain for the previous week. I initially pledged to redouble my efforts, but by Tuesday evening, I was so cranky and irritated (partly to do with stress at work) that I called Greg and asked him to bring me fritos and onion dip. I stuffed my face, then had a big dinner. Yesterday was more of the same.
So now I’ve probably legitimately earned a three pound gain, and I’m mad at myself, especially since we’re heading into the weekend and I have lots of food-related activities on the calendar in the next few weeks.
But I don’t HAVE to be defeatist about this. If I can just get back in the habit, I can start losing again. It may not happen as quickly as I had hoped, but it will happen if I focus on behavior rather than the scale, and if I stop giving myself excuses for treats and laziness.
I think part of this issue was expecting January to be this magical time of weight just dropping off, and then running up against reality. Weight never just drops off–it’s always a challenge, even when you are in the right mindset.
Here’s the deal: I’m going to the gym. Today will be a good day. Tomorrow will be a good day. I’m sick of the creeping feeling of tightening jeans, and I’m seeing a few friends next weekend that I haven’t seen in a while. They won’t know if I weigh 183 or 180, but they WILL notice if I’m happy and confident because I’ve been treating myself right.